Thursday, February 26, 2009

Philly versus Key West? Yeah, right.

Philadepia Daily news writer Patty-Pat Kozlowski recently published an opinion column titled "10 reasons Philly tops Key West".

While the writer is obviously a fan of Key West, mentioning she visits twice a year, she managed to amusingly list ten reasons Philadelphia is better then Key West.

In response, here are 10 reasons that Key West actually tops Philly:

1) Its 72 degrees in Key West today. Philadelphia is 33 degrees. Where would you rather get a tan? (I should just end the list there, but I promised nine more reasons).

2) Yellowtail snapper, grouper, stone crab claws, lobster, and other fresh seafood are on the menu in Key West. Hey Philly: you sure about that pork roll?

3) In 2005, Philadelphia was ranked as the sixth-most dangerous among 32 American cities with populations over 500,000. The murder rate in Philadelphia is 1 per day. Key West, on the other hand, is quite safe. Most crimes involve a bottle of booze, two bleary-eyed men, and a woman that should only dance with her insane husband.

4) Key West has free cats! Well, not really. But in Key West, if you want a pet, you only have to put a bowl of water on your porch. A cat, is bound to show up at your door looking for a better deal out of life. (just don't consider yourself its owner).

5) Ever notice that everything tastes better when eaten outdoors? Its easy in Key West. That's probably why we don't mind lousy soft-pretzels.

6) Key Westers don't worry too much about the price of gasoline. I, for one, only fill up the car once a month. Key West is 2 miles by 4 miles - many locals get around on bicycles. Or walking (imagine that Philly!).

7) Key West is always ready for a party - every night of the week. Heck, Key West is so party ready, it even celebrates the sun setting each day.

8) Warm beaches are the norm in Key West. And with water temperatures typically between 70-80 degrees, you can leave that woolen bathing suit in Pennsylvania.

9) Traffic jams, a daily occurrence in Philly, are non-existent in Key West. However, you may have to wait a few minutes for that daiquiri during happy hour.

10) In Key West, you can go to work with a big hangover and no one thinks you have a drinking problem.

Agree? Don't agree? Feel free to add your reasons why one is better than the other.
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7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm from South Jersey...just over the bridge from Philly...and I've driven to Key West. All I have to say is if you can live in (and love Philly) you live anywhere. I don't think if you can live in Key West that you can survive any where else.

veggiegator said...

Well done. I'm orignally from the Philly suburbs (first 20 yrs of my life) and have to agree with this Top 10 list 100%. Philadelphia is a stressful place, I don't know why people want to live there. The only one thing I would give Philly over Key West is the sports teams. Key West High School sports just wouldn't do it for me and Miami is a bit of a drive.

Anonymous said...

I'm not from Key West, but I'm with the servers who didn't know what a "pork roll" was and um, have to think the author of the original is an ugly American, even when IN America. You don't go to Key West to get the same things you can get at home. You go for Stone Crab and margaritas and the sunsets. If you want whatever a pork roll is, then stay in Philly.

Cayo Dave said...

I just remembered the best thing about Philly - Gino's Cheesesteak!! Other than that, sports and all, I'm stickin' with Key West.

veggiegator - Key West sports is amazingly popular with the local Conchs. And the island has produced some talented professional players (none of which I can name).


anonymous - I don't think the writer of the article is an ugly American. Quite to the contrary, her article was written tongue-in-cheek.
Margaritas and stone crabs. Now that sounds like a fine Key West dinner.

Crededno said...

Not sure if you mind me asking this here, but me and my wife are getting ready to celebrate our 5th anniversary and are planning on coming down that way. As an avid reader of Spider Robinson books I have long wanted to come hang out in Key West after reading Callahan's Key (a book that, if you are not familiar with it, describes the Keys like Heaven with a tan) However I'm not really interested in doing the "tourist" thing too much, preferring to actually get to see Key West as it should be seen. I've got no reservations, and no plans except show up and hope for the best. I know you all are having your Independence Celebration but is there anything I need to be careful not to miss? Keep in mind that we are coming from Lexington KY so the more warm outdoors we see the better :)

Anonymous said...

Please bring your blog up to date. Even your weather report says april 19th. You give Blogs a black eye.

Cayo Dave said...

Please bring your blog up to date. Even your weather report says april 19th. You give Blogs a black eye.

Huh? What are you referring to? There is no weather report on Key West Chronicle.